Erica Johnson Debeljak

Translated by Erica Johnson Debeljak

1. INTERPRETER / TOLMAČ

   

   

   ENGSLV

   in the northern wing of the unfinished

   NSDAP congress hall

   göring repeats on a

   tape loop i knew nothing

   i heard nothing i saw nothing

   interpreters in the impro booths

   who knew saw heard

   repeat the words with trembling voices

   out of their aquariums

   nothing nothing nothing

    

   the year is 2020

   entry to the museum is free

   the guard is a dark-skinned man

   i wonder if it is because of a policy

   of inclusive diversity

   historical defiance to the place

   or because of the lower pay grade

   which disinclines the heirs of the interpreters and the interpreted

   from the aquarium of the guard’s booth

    

   a bat streaks past him into the museum

   nobody yet knows that it will soon 

   become the next class enemy no. 1

   it sees nothing it hears nothing

   as it flies over left-right

   in front of the projection of the reichsmarschall’s head

   which knew at that moment

   that the noose was growing tight

   hermann pulls the earphones off

   the interpreters  like fish out of water

   speaking into emptiness

   what he does not

   know

    

   (the billyclub is the interpreter

   it was said in the camps

   all bodies understand the language of violence)

    

   i pull the earphones with the audio guide off

   my eyes follow

   the restless flight of the trapped animal

   that cannot find its way out

   just as very soon

   we will not be able to find it

   and i hold closer to me

   the love which the field marshal

   would forbid all ways out

    

   (touch is the interpreter

   all bodies understand

   the language of love)

   Translated by Erica Johnson Debeljak

   v severnem krilu nedokončane

   kongresne palače NSDAP

   göring na posnetku v zanki

   ponavlja nič nisem vedel

   nič slišal nič videl nič nisem

   tolmači v impro kabinah

   ki so vedeli slišali videli

   ponavljajo s tresočimi se glasovi

   ven iz akvarijev

   nič nič nič nič

    

   leto je 2020

   vstop v muzej je prost

   varnostnik je temnopolt

   sprašujem se ali zaradi politik

   inkluzivnosti diverzitete

   zgodovinskega kljubovanja kraju

   ali pa zaradi nizkega plačnega razreda

   ki dediče tolmačev in tolmačenih

   odvrne od akvarija varnostnikove kabine

    

   v muzej je mimo njega švignil netopir

   nihče še ne ve da bo prav on

   kmalu postal državni sovražnik št. 1

   nič ne vidi nič ne sliši

   ko preletava levo-desno

   pred platnom z glavo rajhmaršala

   ki je v tistem trenutku vedela

   da je zanka že zategnjena

   hermann potegne slušalke z ušes

   tolmači v prazno kot ribe na suhem

   izgovarjajo česar ne

   ve

    

   (pendrek je tolmač

   je veljalo v taborišču

   jezik nasilja razume vsako telo)

    

   z ušes potegnem zvočni vodnik

   s pogledom sledim

   nemirnemu letu ujete živali

   ki ne najde izhoda

   kot ga prav kmalu

   tudi sami ne bomo več našli

   in le še močneje stisnem

   ljubezen ki bi jo feldmaršal

   bil spremenil v brezizhodno

    

   (dotik je tolmač

   jezik ljubezni

   razume vsako telo)

2. BRESTANICA / BRESTANICA

   

   

   ENGSLV

   tentacles grow from my skin

   little feet for walking

   across the countless beginnings

   of never told stories

   for feeling the cold walls

   of Brestanica castle

   the hand of the girl touched them

   in the days of sweat

   in the expectation of death

   in a castle that was once a monastery

   where they then prayed for bare life

   like carcasses that still twitch

   as they are shoved into the cattle cars

   Translated by Erica Johnson Debeljak

   iz kože mi rastejo tipalke

   nožice za sprehajanje

   po neštetokrat začetih

   nikoli povedanih zgodbah

   za tipanje hladnih sten

   gradu Brestanica

   ki se jih je dotaknila roka deklice

   v prepotenih dneh

   v pričakovanju smrti

   v gradu ki je bil nekoč samostan

   kjer so nato molili za golo življenje

   kot crkovina ki še trza

   medtem ko jo ženejo v živinske vagone

3. Brestanicaoctopus / Brestanicahobotnica

   

   

   ENGSLV

   someone dreamed of it in the camp

   an octopus that came onto land

   wet from the tears of prisoners

   so that she wouldn’t dry on land

   they hid her secretly

   beneath the excess skin

   newly embellished by

   a metal tag with a sequential number

    

   she whispered that

   she had three hearts

   she lost the first when she entered this dream

   the second during the transport of the prisoners

   but got out with the third

   and now dreams of her two hearts

    

   my grandmotheroctopus

   with her eight tentacles

   always knocking at the doors

   of offices for the lost and found

   the number of the metal tag doesn’t match

   any of the items

   and her childhood

   is still missing

   Translated by Erica Johnson Debeljak

   v taborišču se je nekomu sanjala

   hobotnica ki prihaja na kopno

   navlažena s solzami ujetnikov

   da ne presahne na suhem

   naskrivaj so si jo pospravili

   pod odvečno kožo

   ki jo je po novem krasila

   pasja svetinjica z zaporedno številko

    

   prišepnila jim je

   da ima tri srca

   eno je izgubila ob vstopu v te sanje

   drugo ob transportu taboriščnikov

   s tretjim pa je prišla ven

   in sanjala svoji srci

    

   moja babicahobotnica

   z vsemi osmimi rokami

   nenehno trka po vratih

   uradov za najdene stvari

   številka svetinjice se ne sklada

   z nobenim zadetkom

   otroštvo pa

   še kar pogrešano

4. Brestanicalifejacket / Brestanicajopič

   

   

   ENGSLV

   she starts one and the same sentence

   over and over again

   and each time

   stops before the subordinate clause

   as if her memory was subordinated

   to repeating the beginning

    

   always trying to speak it

   like waves of the sea lapping up

   to a shore they never reach

   all the things that lay on the beach

   each new wave would like

   to reach the bags clothes jackets

   the sea so full of life

   but there is no lifeline

   no life jacket

   in the flood of memories

   that wash up all day

    

   all night I dreamt about

   Reichenburg that

   Translated by Erica Johnson Debeljak

   en in isti stavek

   prične neštetokrat

   in ob vsakem poskusu

   obmolči pred odvisnikom

   kot bi bil spomin odvisen

   od ponavljanja začetka

    

   vztrajno ga poskuša izgovoriti

   kot morje ki z valovi liže

   obalo a mu ne uspe doseči

   stvari ki stojijo na plaži

   vsak nov val bi se rad

   dokopal torbe obleke jopice

   morje polno življenja

   ni pa rešilne bilke

   kot ni rešilnega jopiča

   v poplavi spominov

   ki valujejo ves dan

    

   celo noč sem sanjala

   Rajhenburg ki

5. Brestanicabeanstew / Brestanicaboranija

   

   

   ENGSLV

   each ingredient of the stew

   uprooted from the past

   to feed a child

   beanstew for lunch

   and recycled conversations

   listen now

   eat so you’ll grow

   so you’ll be big and strong

   i listen now

   so we won’t forget

    

   selfdomestication

   by the spoonful at the kitchen table

   love goes though the stomach

   and through the ears

   words bubble up in the belly and make gas

   unavoidable after a liter of beanstew

   wind gas stink

   of the decomposing bodies

   that my grandmother walked past

   i can’t forget them

   on the left on the right on all sides

   eat little one eat

   i’m just talking nonsense

    

   unquenchable hunger

   cooked into each

   too abundant meal

   so she doesn’t need to describe

   what is boiling inside of her

   veering between

   memories and other realities

   holding her breath between

   two mouthfuls

   two nightmares

    

   eighty years later

   she still dreams of them

   eat little one eat

   you must be hungry

   i’m always hungry

   Translated by Erica Johnson Debeljak

   vsaka sestavina obare

   izruvana iz preteklosti

   da se dobro nahrani otroka

   za kosilo boranija in

   reciklirani pogovori

   poslušaj zdaj

   jej da boš zrasla

   da boš velika in močna

   poslušam zdaj

   da ne pozabiva

    

   samoudomačevanje

   na žlico za jedilno mizo

   ljubezen gre skozi želodec

   in skozi ušesa

   besede kipijo v trebuhu in napenjajo

   po litru boranije so neizogibni

   vetrovi plin smrad

   razpadajočih teles

   mimo katerih je babica stopala

   ne morem jih pozabiti

   levo in desno na vse strani

   jej sine jej

   jaz govorim neumnosti

    

   nepotešljivo lakoto

   vkuhala v vsak

   preobilen obrok

   da ji ni treba opisovati

   kaj se kuha v njej

   kolovratenje med

   spomini in drugimi resničnostmi

   zajemanje sape med

   dvema zalogajema

   dvema nočnima morama

    

   osemdeset let kasneje

   jih še vedno sanja

   jej sine jej

   gotovo si lačna

   jaz sem vedno lačna

6. Reichenburg / Rajhenburg

   

   

   ENGSLV

   for centuries Reichenburg castle surveills the surroundings

   from a stone promontory sixty meters high

    

    

   sinking into decayed bones

   into metal tags and

   into memory that cannot express

   anything but the name

   sloss Reychenburch in land Steyermark

   Translated by Erica Johnson Debeljak

   s šestdeset metrov visokega skalnega pomola

   okoliški prostor že stoletja nadzoruje grad Rajhenburg

    

   ugreznjen v preperelih kosteh

   v pasjih svetinjicah in

   v spominu ki ne zmore izreči

   ničesar razen imena

   sloss Reychenburch in land Steyermark

7. YEAR / LETO

   

   

   ENGSLV

   20

    

   it started on tržaška street

   with a smog of sparklers and wine

   but instead of the fireworks

   all we saw was a boy with a hand rocket

   pointing the wrong direction

    

   today is the first day of summer

   hot with anxiety

   it seems as if we are still standing

   on the loud dusty pavement

   the world pointing rockets in the wrong directions

    

   tržaška street has disappeared all dug up

   distances and words have grown

   as monumental as invisible fireworks

   careening and screaming their virtual

   promises that they are somewhere there

    

   everything is the same only kobe bryant is gone

   and so are the matches and the viewers

   and christo enveloping the arc of triumph is also gone

   but they would have called him off anyway we’ve all lost

   as if the zeros have shackled the twos or vice versa

    

   it is the year of the rat in the chinese calendar

   which seems just about right

   the chinese would know

   everything has already happened

   and the year has not even started yet

    

    

   20

    

   father grimly says

   best not to watch the news

   i immediately turn on the television and see

   peopleplasticbags

    

   my grandmotherironlady

   is being loaded into an ambulance

   she shifts her grip

   and helps the other old people

    

   a thousand kilometers away

   i stare at the screen

   and think about the hardness

   of her evacuated arteries

    

   my tougharteriedgrandmother

   stares straight

   into the pupil

   of the digital year

    

   it looks

   like she is saying

   i’ve seen worse

   everything has already happened

   Translated by Erica Johnson Debeljak

   20

    

   začenjalo se je na tržaški

   s smogom prskalicami in vinom

   a namesto velikega ognjemeta

   smo videli le fanta ki je narobe

   obrnil ročno pirotehniko

    

   danes je prvi dan poletja

   vroče je od tesnobe in

   zdi se kot da še vedno stojimo

   na preglasni zaprašeni cesti

   svet narobe obrača pirotehniko

    

   tržaška je poniknila vsa razkopana

   zrasle so distance in besede

   velike kot nevidni ognjemeti

   ki s streli in vzkliki virtualno

   obljubljajo da so tam nekje

    

   vse je navadno le kobe bryanta ni več

   a tekem in gledalcev tudi ne

   in christa ni da bi pokril slavolok zmage

   a tudi sicer bi mu odpovedali vsi smo izgubili

   kot da so ničle vklenile dvojke ali obratno

    

   po kitajskem koledarju je leto podgane

   ne zdi se sploh narobe

   kitajci bodo že vedeli

   vse se je že zgodilo

   leto se pa še kar ni začelo

    

    

   20

    

   oče mi turobno pove

   raje ne glej poročil

   takoj prižgem televizijo in vidim

   ljudjeplastičnevrečke

    

   v rešilca spravljajo

   mojo babicoironlady

   ona se preprijema

   in pomaga ostalim starčkom

    

   tisoč kilometrov stran

   buljim v zaslon

   in razmišljam o trdoti

   njenih evakuiranih žil

    

   moja babicatrdažila

   gleda naravnost

   v zenico

   digitalnega leta

    

   zdi se mi

   da mu reče

   videla sem še hujše

   vse se je že zgodilo