Part C: 20 questions for myself

by Maja Lee Langvad

Part C: 20 questions for myself



What nationality would you say you are:

a. Danish?

b. Korean?

c. Both Danish and Korean?

d. Neither Danish nor Korean?


Do you wish you had been sent to another country for adoption? And if so, which one?


When you encounter racism: do you feel more Korean then than you usually do?


Would you like your biological mother and your adoptive mother to meet one another?


Can you imagine tracing your biological mother without having a bad conscience about your adoptive mother?


Do you regard having two mothers as an advantage or a disadvantage? And if you believe you have only one mother, not two: which one – your biological or your adoptive mother - is not your mother?


When someone refers to your biological mother as “your real mother”, do you agree with this?


Do you wish you had the same physical features as your adoptive mother, or are you relieved that this is not the case?


Do you regard yourself as white? And if so, do you consider this an advantage or a disadvantage?


Do you wish your adoptive mother had not been the person to adopt you?


Do you consider yourself a wanted child?


Would you like to trace your biological mother? And if so, is this:

a. Out of curiosity, to see whether you take after her (both physically and in nature)?

b. For fear of hereditary diseases?

c. Because you feel it is important for a person to know their biological origins?

d. Because you want to know why you were given up for adoption?

e. Because you want to assure her that you are all right?

f. Because of the thought that she might die without you ever meeting her?

g. Because of your relationship with your adoptive mother?

h. Out of a need to be loved?

i. Out of a need to be loved by her in particular?

j. Other reason?

(Feel free to underline more than one answer).


If you were to trace your biological mother with the hope of establishing a lasting relationship and it turned out that she did not live up to your expectations: would you wish that you had not traced her?


Can you imagine not liking your biological mother?


Do you feel you have the right to know the identity of your biological mother? And if so, would you still feel this even if she had been promised anonymity when she gave you up for adoption?


Do you believe that your biological mother failed you, or do you believe that the very thing she did not do was fail you, by giving you up for adoption?


How often do you wish that you had not been given up for adoption:

a. Every day?

b. Rarely?

c. Never?


Do you feel sorry for yourself because you are adopted?


Do you know any other adoptees? And if so, do you feel an affinity with them because they are adopted?


Can you imagine adopting a child yourself?

From the collection Finding Holger Dane; translated from the Danish by Barbara J. Haveland