Part B: 20 questions for my biological mother
How often do you think about me:
a. Every day?
Have you ever regretted giving me up for adoption?
If I should ever decide to trace you:
a. Would you hope that you were alive?
b. Would you hope that you were dead?
Do you think it is important for a person to know their biological origins? And if so, why?
Have you ever thought of tracing me?
If I drank too much, were seriously ill, had gambled away all my money or found myself in some other sort of trouble: Would you still want to meet me?
And if so, would you feel obliged to help me?
Do you think of me as your child?
If I did not think of you as my mother:
a. Would you be disappointed?
b. Would you be relieved?
Do you expect anything from a reunion with me? And if so, what?
Could you imagine us making contact by letter or e-mail and leaving it at that?
Do you hope that I take after you, or that I do not take after you (both physically and in nature)?
Do you consider me to be Korean because I have Korean blood in my veins? And if so, do you believe that I have, until now, been living abroad?
What nationality would you say I am:
c. Both Danish and Korean?
d. Neither Danish nor Korean?
Do you believe that you failed me, or do you believe that the very thing you did not do was fail me, by giving me up for adoption?
If you feel guilty because you gave me up for adoption: can you forgive yourself or do you feel that your guilt cannot be forgiven?
Why did you give me up for adoption:
a. For financial reasons?
b. For social reasons?
c. For personal reasons?
(Feel free to elaborate).
If you are poor: were I to re-establish contact with you would you expect me to help you financially?
If you feel indebted to my adoptive mother: could you imagine the two of you ever being on an equal footing?
Would you like to meet my adoptive mother?
From the collection Finding Holger Dane; translated from the Danish by Barbara J. Haveland