Deconstruct me

by Katja Perat


Deconstruct me

I

(with my libertine relation to reality)

Am a kind of perfection.

 

Golden dreams of the avant-garde,

Dismantled identity,

Victory of a useless complication,

A girl turned into a washing machine,

The cut up body,

Strewn across the desert –

 

This is what we fought for,

This is the kingdom,

That prevailed over fascism,

I am your victory.

Thanks.

 

I don’t need attention,

I don’t demand love,

We’re fair and square with the universe,

It owes me no favor.

 

I am the made-up perfection,

I am the infinity of made-up perfections,

That demand infinite upkeep,

I am, what I am

I am, what I know

I am, what I’ve fought for,

I am, what I turn away from,

I am, what I’m facing toward

I am, what has been ascribed to me,

I am, what slides past unnoticed.

 

Deconstruct me,

This is the only intimate plea that I can make,

Deconstruct me,

Take me out of literature,

And ready me for love.

© translated by Jasmin B. Frelih

Dekonstruiraj me

Jaz

(s svojim svobodomiselnim odnosom do resničnosti)

Sem neka popolnost.

 

Zlate sanje avantgardistov

Razstavljena identiteta,

Zmagoslavje nekoristne komplikacije,

Dekle, ki se je spremenilo v pralni stroj,

Razkosano telo,

Raztreseno po puščavi –

 

Za to smo se borili,

To je kraljestvo,

Ki je obračunalo s fašizmom,

Jaz sem vaša zmaga.

Hvala.

 

Ne potrebujem pozornosti,

Ne zahtevam ljubezni,

Z vesoljem sva poravnala račune,

Nobenih uslug mi ne dolguje.

 

Sem izmišljena popolnost,

Sem neskončno izmišljenih popolnosti,

Ki zahtevajo neskončno vzdrževanje,

Sem, kar sem,

Sem, kar znam,

Sem, kar sem si izborila,

Sem, od česar se obračam,

Sem, proti čemur sem obrnjena,

Sem, kar mi pripisujete,

Sem, kar neopaženo zdrsne mimo.

 

Dekonstruiraj me,

To je edina intimna zahteva, ki jo lahko postavim,

Dekonstruiraj me,

Vzemi me iz literature

In me pripravi za ljubezen.

© Katja Perat, Najboljši so padli (Študentska založba, 2011)