Here I am and fuck you if you can’t understand me
A nail cutter is so old and rusty that when I cut my nails they themselves lay there and rust while I do other things, everyday things, buying tomatoes, a mozzarella, crying like the fire in the sun, having a body filled with the drug of life and waves and it is love that creates its words, shapes the voice, not it.
It pulls the feathers from the pillow when the day lightens and it has no respect for what is, only for what's to be, the body dreamt that it was in the most beautiful landscape it has ever seen but was disappointed, it smells of carcass in its bed, it's constantly painting with its blood.
The true self is the lonely self like the first time is the lonely time and the summer smells unmerciful, like a photography. Autumn smells like a new time. I suggest: that it shall never end. You wonder when it will end but I say as long as we are breathing there is no end, that's what I'm trying to show and I'm pleased to be the madcap.
I used to be anxious about that I wasn't a madcap that could fix things; use the bathroom at a café without being a customer, run from the restaurant bill or convince bouncers that I’m old enough. Loneliness can arrive suddenly but you shouldn’t use it to make your life more boring or sad than it already is.
(Here I am and fuck you if you can’t understand me)
Translated by Jakob Nilsson