by Helen Mort


“God knows there are difficult women out there. Women who are - at times – shallow, bitchy, selfish, dishonest and, of course, crazy.” – AskMen: Why Men Date Difficult Women


Difficult women don’t care what time it is, they’re
crowding the bus stop with their difficult bodies,

refusing to budge for the light, or in the parks,

dragging their difficulty behind them like a fat dog.
Some of them are running, cycling, or worse,

driving cars. If a difficult woman hits you at 30 miles per hour

you have a 50 percent chance of survival. At home,

difficult women are more like walls than windows
but if you lean on one, you fall straight through

and sometimes at night they show your face.


Difficult women don’t know they’re born.
Difficult women don’t know the meaning of the word.
There could be one folded into your newspaper,

holding her breasts like oranges. There might be

one carrying your coffee, or moving to your road.
In London, it’s said you’re never more than 6 feet

from a difficult woman. Have you or a colleague

had a difficult woman in the last 6 months?

If so, you may be entitled to compensation.

Do you have difficulty with our questions?

Are you afraid you may be difficult yourself?