Longnight Dreaming in the Forest

by Katja Gorečan


Longnight Dreaming in the Forest

grandma always cries at family celebrations


 

grandma cries


 

are those memories / somebody says


 

are those dreams / says somebody else /


 

grandma cries and says /


 

it was terrible / me and mother were left alone / me and your great grandma longnight /


 

my brother was killed in the forest for slaughtering livestock /


 

the dwarf’s company / my father was dragged over the ground


 

to the cart and taken away / it was terrible /


 

grandma says / nobody dared approach our house /


 

my father was imprisoned in the old jail / beaten / interrogated /


 

longnight would go look at him in the field /


 

like a madman /


 

a non-human /

like trash /


 

grandma cries so very deeply /


 

many years have passed /


 

and now that she’s losing her memory / all she remembers is loss


 


 

Choir: longnight dreaming in the forest


 

a long night of a dead death behind your neck


 


 

in a long night I’m pursuing a black shadow that won’t let me sleep


 

in nightmares I walk the hospital looking for empty bodies


 

bodies of people that had not been buried


 


 

Choir: the forests are weeping / say the spirits /


 

the forests are weeping


 


 

and grandma hugs me


 

as we’re picking lavender in front of her house


 

I’m wandering the forests


 

where they had been lost


 

nothing left on the map


 

the black shadow bigger and bigger


 

I ran /

breathless

so that I’d catch her /

angrily

so that I’d kill her /

fuming

so that I’d slaughter her /

in madness

choke her /

calmly


 

and that’s when it starts to rain in the forest


 

the rain is falling softly, extremely softly


 

there was nothing left there


 

I fell asleep peacefully


 

by the fallen tree

GRANDMA IS STILL CRYING


 

Choir: LONGNIGHT DREAMING IN THE FOREST


 

A BLACK SHADOW BEHIND YOUR NECK


 

LIKE WOMEN WHO RUN WITH THE SPIRITS


 

LONGNIGHT SEES HIM WATCHING


 


 

Somebody’s eyes peeking through the world


 


 

THROUGH THE WINDOW OF THE PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL


 

AND THEN HE VANISHES

From an unpublished cycle of choreo-poems One Night Some Girls Somewhere Are Dying

Dolganoč v gozdu sanja

stara mama se vedno joče na družinskih praznovanjih


 

stara mama se joče


 

so to spomini/ reče nekdo


 

so to sanje/ reče nekdo drug/


 

stara mama se joče in reče/


 

tako je bilo hudo/ ostali sva sami z mamo/ prababico dolganoč/


 

brata so ubili v gozdu ker je klal živino/


 

palčkova banda/ očeta so zvlekli po tleh


 

do voza in ga odpeljali/ tako je bilo hudo/


 

reče babica/ nihče si ni upal priti do naše hiše/


 

oče je bil zaprt v starem piskru/ mlatili so ga/ zasliševali/


 

dolganoč ga je hodila opazovati potem v polje/


 

kot norca/

kot nečloveka/

kot smet/


 

stara mama se tako zelo globoko joče/


 

veliko let je minilo/


 

in zdaj ko izgublja spomin/ se spominja samo izgube


 


 

Zbor: dolganoč v gozdu sanja


 

dolga noč mrtve smrti za tvojim vratom


 


 

v dolgi noči tečem za črno senco ki me ne pusti spati


 

v morah hodim po bolnišnici in iščem prazna trupla


 

trupla teles ki niso bila pokopana


 


 

Zbor: gozdovi jočejo/ rečejo duhovi/


 

gozdovi jočejo


 


 

me objame stara mama


 

ko nabirava sivko pred njeno hišo


 

blodim po gozdovih


 

kjer so bili izgubljeni


 

na zemljevidu ni ničesar več


 

črna senca je vedno večja


 

tekla sem/

zadihano

da jo ujamem/

jezno

da jo ubijem/

besno

da jo zakoljem/

v norosti

zadušim/

umirjeno


 

in takrat prične deževati v gozdu


 

nežno pada dež, izjemno nežno


 

ničesar ni bilo več tam


 

v miru sem zaspala


 

ob podrtemu drevesu

STARA MAMA SE ŠE VEDNO JOČE


 

Zbor: DOLGANOČ V GOZDU SANJA


 

ČRNA SENCA ZA TVOJIM VRATOM


 

KOT ŽENSKE KI TEČEJO Z DUHOVI


 

DOLGANOČ GA VIDI KAKO OPAZUJE


 


 

Oči nekoga kukajo skozi svet


 


 

SKOZI OKNO PSIHIATRIČNE BOLNIŠNICE


 

IN POTEM IZGINE

Iz neizdanega cikla koreopesmi Neke noči neke deklice nekje umirajo